Weekly

May 5th – May 11th

Name: Katherine Heigl

Age: 29

Most Famous for: Grey’s Anatomy, Knocked Up

Katherine Heigl is a complete babe. The weekly had to be posted. The weekly is usually a babe. Through 2 degrees of transitivity, here she is. Dear Katherine… I hope you like winners, ’cause your boys are 2-0.

Chosen By: Chris

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April 28th – May 4th

Name: Camilla Belle

Age: 21

Most Famous for: When a Stranger Calls, 10000 BC

So, I watched 10,000 BC today… Con: The movie is horrible… Pro: Camilla Belle could be found hidden in this piece of garbage. Now, at first, I did think it was especially out of place to have a Neanderthal with perfectly shaped eyebrows and a smokin’ bod, but I later came to understand that she probably foresaw us, the members of LVC, watching the movie, and was just keeping up to the preconceived standards we’d have for her. Well Camilla, it’s okay to let your hair down around here. We’re not going to judge you for being “homely” when you’re still a smokin’ babe. Throw a t-shirt on, bring a lawn chair down to the Canadian Tire and crack a Rickard’s White while you watch your favourite squad snipe some cheese.

Chosen By: Chris

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April 21st – April 27th

Name: Mandy Moore

Age: 24

Most Famous for: Recording artist, role as Jamie Sullivan in A Walk to Remember

I was enjoying a couple adult beverages the other night while trying to think of a fitting ‘Weekly’ when all of a sudden it hit me harder than a blind-side from Matty Downs (keep your heads up boys). I glanced up at the plasma televisions littered throughout the bar and whose mug should I see plastered all over them? None other than America’s sweetheart Mandy Moore taking in some MMA action at the Bell Centre. Fit, cute, multi-talented, rich *AND* into the UFC…enough said. That girl can put me in a rear-naked chokehold any day.

Chosen By: Owen

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April 14th – April 20th

Name: Winona Ryder

Age: 36

Most Famous for: Edward Scissorhands, Girl Interrupted, Mr.Deeds

Once again, it’s exam time and I’m just throwing up another weekly until the hustle and bustle subsides. With that being said, you might be asking “but Chris, isn’t she that psycho crazy bitch who was all over the news a couple years ago and has since fallen into anonymity” sure is! but … well, fuck you in the eye, I’m all about Winona, even at 36, with a couple wrinkles and some shoplifting charges.. and if she had a lazy eye, I’d probably still be down. I really have to say, she’s a catch man, and I’ll defend that against anyone who says otherwise. Go watch “Reality Bites” and tell me with a straight face that you’re not willing to give Lelaina Pierce a kidney or two. Sure, the girl’s got a few pitfalls, but what she may lack in “commercial honesty” she more than makes up for in spirit and spunk, especially when supporting her favourite team from the sidelines. Little known fact: has a LVC tattoo on her pectineus. Ask me how I know.

Chosen By: Chris

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April 7th – April 13th

Name: Rachel Bilson

Age: 26

Most Famous for: Role as Summer Roberts on the OC

This is what happens during exams when nobody does the weekly. Repeats. The good news: Rachel’s hot enough to be the weekly every week, until forever, as far as I’m concerned. Let’s not contaminate this with a long-winded write-up. Enjoy.

Chosen By: Chris

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March 31st – April 6th

Name: Megan Fox

Age: 21 (for real)

Most Famous For: Role as Mikaela Banes in Transformers

Whilst enjoying my morning coffee on the patio (as it was unseasonably nice out) and flipping through an old copy of GQ, I was reacquainted with the most ridiculously good looking woman I’ve seen in a long, long time. Miss Megan Fox. Now, right away, looking at her picture, it’s clear that she exemplifies some of those values the LVC hold dear. Off the bat, you know the girl is in to working hard as she’s obviously not afraid to get her drip on. Second, she reads, and she clearly reads a lot. Education is a huge part of the LVC mission as an educated player is working mind and body 100%. Who wouldn’t love to pound the asphalt all day, then sit down for an existential conversation on metaphysics over tea with Megan Fox? Finally, she’s goddamn ridiculously cute. Word on the street is that she’s just purchased BSHL center ice so that when she can’t physically be at the games due to her busy work schedule, she can watch her boys snipe from the comfort of her living room.

Chosen By: Chris

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March 24th – March 30th

Name: Sophia Bush

Age: 26

Most Famous For: Role as Brook Davis on One Tree Hill

The Lakeview Crew congratulates Sophia Bush, not only for her selection as our “Weekly”, but also because the second-rate OC rip off, One Tree Hill, in which Sophia stars is finally coming to a long overdue finale. Sophia will now be able to leave her post as captain of the Tree Hill Cheerleading Squad and assume a position closer to her heart, as she takes her tumbling, jumping, and spirit fingers north of the boarder to support the 2008 Lakeview Crew. Sophia will undoubtedly distract the opposition when she dawns the blue and orange this summer, her effervescent glow radiating from the sidelines, as she cracks her coy, sly, and sexy smile. You keep bringing home those Teen Choice Awards and we will do our best to bring you the Walker Cup.

Chosen By: Andrew

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March 17th – March 23rd

Name: Britney Spears

Age: 27

Most Famous for: Being famous

Yummy mommy Britney Spears picks up this week’s accolades as her parenting skills are surpassed only by her commitment to this organization. For, although she drops the occasional baby, she never fails to lift our spirits with her inspirational feats. Case in point: Brit shocked the world last season, as true to her word, she shaved every hair on her body following the Bloomer’s playoff berth. Needless to say, we are eager to see what she has in store when the LVC brings home the ‘ship this season. On a more sombre note, we wish Ms. Spears a speedy recovery from her mental breakdown at the hands of the Bloomers early playoff exit last season. Although Spears may have lost custody of her children, we will always have an opening for her as Team Mom.

<<Insert pearl necklace joke here>>Chosen By: Owen

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March 9th – March 16th

Name: Carrie Underwood

Age: 25

Most Famous for: 2005 American Idol Winner

It’s fitting this charming Country singer-songwriter is our “Weekly”, as Carrie celebrates her 25^th birthday Monday. This beauty exudes confidence and has a smile that’s been known to blind innocent bystanders, not unlike Lakeview Crew slap shots. Her curves astonish even the most veteran aesthetic connoisseurs and bare a striking resemblance to Lakeview’s tight skating maneuvers. Congratulations on all your success Carrie, though you may want to make room for one more award as we don’t mind handing the Walker Cup off for a victory lap after the ’ship.

Chosen By: Matt D.

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March 2nd – March 9th

Name: Kelli Garner

Age: 23

Most Famous for: Role opposite Ryan Gosling in “Lars & the Real Girl”

Oh, hey Kelli. Looks like you may have fallen down in the snow. Are you okay? Yea you are, in fact, you’re better than okay now that you’re the LVC babe of the week. That snow won’t last long with you around and as things begin to heat up for the beginning of the 08′ season, you demonstrate so eloquently our passion for the game. Oh, and you’re goddamn hot.

Chosen by: Chris

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February 25th – March 2nd

Name: Rachel Bilson

Age: 26

Most Famous for: Role as Summer Roberts on the OC

Look at her, enjoying a Coke in her bathing suit. This is exactly why I chose the one and only Ms.Bilson as our first babe, because I know at heart we all just want it to be summer* again so we can drink pops in our suits. Here’s to LVC and Rachel, hoping that our winning streaks are just as hot.

*+10!

Chosen by: Chris